








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,147 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2218 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2168 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3250 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,033 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvit | 43% | 283 |
| #2 | Von Pertan | 43% | 117 |
| #3 | Vingen | 42% | 302 |
| #4 | Master_Charlon | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Torsten | 40% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Vingen | 42% | 302 |
| #4 | Master_Charlon | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Torsten | 40% | 134 |
| #6 | jOL | 40% | 40 |
| #7 | Sagittarius | 34% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvit | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Von Pertan | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Vingen | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Sagittarius | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Torsten | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vingen | 331 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Torsten | 189 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Master_Charlon | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sagittarius | 130 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Von Pertan | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jOL | +3.49 | 47 | 43 |
| #2 | Torsten | +2.42 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | Solvit | +1.26 | 58 | 28 |
| #4 | Von Pertan | +0.62 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | Vingen | -0.21 | 68 | 51 |





