








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1122 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1089 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1732 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,291,987 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1093 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sharty Marty | 55% | 249 |
| #4 | ExfoliatedFupa | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Bober Kurwa | 48% | 115 |
| #6 | Zook | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | Double | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 27 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Bober Kurwa | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Plug Walk | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Double | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Zook | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 478 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bober Kurwa | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Double | 124 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Plug Walk | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zook | 25 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | +4.49 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | +2.41 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | Zook | +1.77 | 82 | 27 |
| #4 | ZseT | +0.58 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | Bober Kurwa | -2.19 | 31 | 44 |





