








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1845 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2445 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1521 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,036 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 48% | 94 |
| #3 | 234 | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Pringlus | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | The Fraud | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The Fraud | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | gamer | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | SNSU | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | Teem | 43% | 72 |
| #9 | penultimate | 39% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 234 | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Teem | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | gamer | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 3 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 346 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | 234 | 302 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | penultimate | 301 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Teem | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | SNSU | 111 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | +2.79 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | My B Anchor has AYDS | +2.06 | 67 | 78 |
| #3 | 234 | +1.58 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | The Fraud | +1.35 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | Pringlus | +0.08 | 63 | 65 |





