








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2727 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2032 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2988 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2071 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,402 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 55% | 155 |
| #2 | 234 | 53% | 90 |
| #3 | gamer | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | penultimate | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | The Fraud | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pringlus | 48% | 80 |
| #7 | Teem | 45% | 202 |
| #8 | Kari_Apio | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teem | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | 234 | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Kari_Apio | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penultimate | 578 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 528 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Teem | 444 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | 234 | 312 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Pringlus | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | +2.85 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | My B Anchor has AYDS | +1.85 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | 234 | +1.65 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Pringlus | +0.93 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | +0.81 | 63 | 68 |





