








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6508 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4396 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5461 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4595 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,949 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuA aq | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | 234 | 58% | 355 |
| #3 | SNSU | 55% | 155 |
| #4 | penultimate | 55% | 357 |
| #5 | The Fraud | 54% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 53% | 47 |
| #8 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | 53% | 59 |
| #9 | Teem | 52% | 342 |
| #10 | Kari_Apio | 48% | 94 |
| #11 | Pringlus | 48% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 234 | 57 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Teem | 35 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Pringlus | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | gamer | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Kari_Apio | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penultimate | 1404 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #2 | 234 | 1279 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | Teem | 760 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | Pringlus | 483 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | SNSU | 405 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuA aq | +4.83 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | +2.30 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | 234 | +1.81 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | penultimate | +0.31 | 69 | 79 |
| #5 | The Fraud | +0.12 | 72 | 81 |





