








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4117 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3899 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5318 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3924 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,240,357 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | gamer | 50% | 109 |
| #9 | penultimate | 49% | 276 |
| #10 | Pringlus | 46% | 128 |
| #11 | SNSU | 45% | 202 |
| #12 | Kari_Apio | 43% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 1262 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | penultimate | 1087 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #3 | 234 | 1001 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | SNSU | 491 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Pringlus | 319 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | +2.54 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | 234 | +2.00 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | +1.94 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | The Fraud | +1.49 | 74 | 82 |
| #5 | My B Anchor has AYDS | +1.37 | 67 | 77 |





