










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5271 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4326 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4447 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3901 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,595 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuA aq | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | My B Anchor has AYDS | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 58% | 355 |
| #4 | The Fraud | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | gamer | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SNSU | 53% | 90 |
| #8 | Pringlus | 53% | 87 |
| #9 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | 52% | 42 |
| #10 | Teem | 52% | 282 |
| #11 | Kari_Apio | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 59 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Teem | 40 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Pringlus | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | gamer | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Kari_Apio | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | 1313 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | penultimate | 1197 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #3 | Teem | 691 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | gamer | 308 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pringlus | 236 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuA aq | +4.27 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Kermasperma✪-iwnl | +2.25 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | 234 | +1.73 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | MaoZedong TheGreatLeader | +0.21 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | The Fraud | +0.18 | 73 | 82 |





