








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 811 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5167 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5239 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6087 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5825 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,662,213 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saalvo | 54% | 74 |
| #2 | Ugandan Kuckles | 49% | 154 |
| #3 | Nick Herman | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | Drunken | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | Ƭokyo | 46% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | keKpoT -iwpl- | 45% | 69 |
| #7 | Jeff | 41% | 138 |
| #8 | Officialshotz | 40% | 83 |
| #9 | -_- cliрѕέ | 39% | 101 |
| #10 | NotJamesBond™ | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ƭokyo | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Ugandan Kuckles | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jeff | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | -_- cliрѕέ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Officialshotz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugandan Kuckles | 294 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Saalvo | 294 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jeff | 228 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Officialshotz | 219 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | -_- cliрѕέ | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saalvo | +1.24 | 61 | 74 |
| #2 | NotJamesBond™ | +1.06 | 63 | 47 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | +0.87 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | Jeff | +0.63 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | +0.30 | 49 | 53 |





