








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 607 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5970 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6881 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6804 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7220 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,547,619 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ƭokyo | 50% | 325 |
| #2 | -_- cliрѕέ | 47% | 329 |
| #3 | Vortex | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | Officialshotz | 46% | 302 |
| #5 | OnTheJohn | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Officialshotz | 46% | 302 |
| #5 | OnTheJohn | 46% | 61 |
| #6 | keKpoT -iwpl- | 45% | 169 |
| #7 | NotJamesBond™ | 44% | 70 |
| #8 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 41% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ƭokyo | 71 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | -_- cliрѕέ | 32 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | OnTheJohn | 16 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Officialshotz | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Officialshotz | 780 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | -_- cliрѕέ | 561 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | OnTheJohn | 243 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 160 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ƭokyo | 122 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotJamesBond™ | +1.01 | 66 | 42 |
| #2 | Jeff | +0.81 | 53 | 75 |
| #3 | Ƭokyo | +0.08 | 64 | 39 |
| #4 | OnTheJohn | -0.25 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | -_- cliрѕέ | -0.27 | 46 | 53 |





