








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 913 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12125 | 25% |
| Smokes | 12798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12838 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 11724 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,482,783 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kairos | 53% | 180 |
| #2 | Saalvo | 52% | 271 |
| #3 | Hopedarklord | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | tmoe | 48% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hopedarklord | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | tmoe | 48% | 281 |
| #6 | Spike | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | phillis on IEMS | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Kairos | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Spike | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Saalvo | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | phillis on IEMS | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 1090 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Saalvo | 1070 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #3 | Kairos | 357 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 213 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Spike | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopedarklord | +2.30 | 92 | 56 |
| #2 | Saalvo | +0.71 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | phillis on IEMS | +0.51 | 84 | 45 |
| #4 | Ugandan Kuckles | +0.44 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | Spike | +0.33 | 57 | 64 |





