








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1034 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17169 | 37% |
| Smokes | 11988 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10427 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6331 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,858,077 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itachi | 61% | 67 |
| #2 | pK | 56% | 91 |
| #3 | Mortem Angelus | 55% | 110 |
| #4 | ☁I AM BUSH☁ | 54% | 74 |
| #5 | tmoe | 53% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ugandan Kuckles | 52% | 271 |
| #7 | WhiTe sPy | 50% | 109 |
| #8 | Optimus__Prime | 49% | 74 |
| #9 | G大M3R | 48% | 54 |
| #10 | slayrisk | 43% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugandan Kuckles | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | tmoe | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | slayrisk | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Optimus__Prime | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | itachi | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 1159 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #2 | Ugandan Kuckles | 544 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | pK | 348 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Optimus__Prime | 345 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | slayrisk | 237 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhiTe sPy | +1.58 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Saalvo | +0.59 | 62 | 72 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | +0.21 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | itachi | +0.17 | 47 | 73 |
| #5 | tmoe | -0.18 | 55 | 71 |





