








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3820 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3928 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3020 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3542 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,098 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mush Mush | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | Dreckiger Dan | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | K0vac | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Swarrish. | 64% | 117 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | 62% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | FuckingFork | 55% | 38 |
| #11 | $kim beeble | 55% | 49 |
| #12 | kupii | 54% | 84 |
| #13 | λeaveN | 51% | 67 |
| #14 | BrettvormKopp | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabu | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Swarrish. | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | BABABOOOEY | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | kupii | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 1455 | 0.42 | 37 min |
| #2 | sabu | 374 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | 324 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | λeaveN | 287 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Swarrish. | 282 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingFork | +2.19 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | Mush Mush | +1.59 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | +1.22 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | K0vac | +1.14 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | kupii | +0.95 | 78 | 67 |





