








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2179 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1453 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2104 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2273 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,852 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kalu | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Jarii | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | yes i am | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | wander | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Esdeath | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Esdeath | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | muussi | 52% | 69 |
| #7 | couNd | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Tommux | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | Kurttis | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kurttis | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | yes i am | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | wander | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 334 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tommux | 97 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kurttis | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Esdeath | 80 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪Kalu | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarii | +2.04 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | yes i am | +1.86 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | Esdeath | +1.59 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Kurttis | +1.36 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | Tommux | +1.22 | 76 | 79 |





