








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4532 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3809 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4564 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4775 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,720,912 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | WAYN. | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | Koks in Schweiger | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 50% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG Mimon Abfaka | 31 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | WAYN. | 13 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 341 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 338 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ATG Mimon Abfaka | 192 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | patrino | 151 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |





