








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 584 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7081 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6777 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5557 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7001 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,370,004 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesy ツ | 54% | 82 |
| #2 | patrino | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Alex | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | Padenko | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Koks in Schweiger | 44% | 166 |
| #10 | ATG Nerdpeek | 40% | 72 |
| #11 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 40% | 128 |
| #12 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 39% | 95 |
| #13 | ATG Dompteur | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG Mimon Abfaka | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Padenko | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Maurice | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Koks in Schweiger | 12 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 602 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Padenko | 422 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Koks in Schweiger | 372 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | patrino | 299 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Cheesy ツ | 296 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesy ツ | +3.29 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | patrino | +2.25 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | UwU UwU Søda-San | +1.71 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz | +1.28 | 43 | 54 |
| #5 | Padenko | +1.14 | 46 | 60 |





