








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9342 | 46% |
| Smokes | 5615 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4030 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,953 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 42% | 175 |
| #11 | Maurice | 41% | 117 |
| #12 | ATG Dompteur | 41% | 86 |
| #13 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 40% | 128 |
| #14 | Koks in Schweiger | 38% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG Mimon Abfaka | 37 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 33 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 26 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | WAYN. | 20 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Koks in Schweiger | 16 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 459 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 352 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Padenko | 278 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Koks in Schweiger | 275 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | WAYN. | 259 | 0.13 | 6 min |





