








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1466 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1654 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 988 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,363 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Rock | 55% | 93 |
| #2 | Fragmints | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | Warlock | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | Springgy | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | ems | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | DETER | 45% | 29 |
| #13 | prey | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | Juantonio | 44% | 25 |
| #15 | rDR_ | 44% | 32 |
| #16 | Cartman | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d!ce. | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ems | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | The Rock | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Warlock | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | DETER | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d!ce. | 289 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fragmints | 262 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | The Rock | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Warlock | 174 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | prey | 133 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Springgy | +3.30 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | brady | +2.03 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | ems | +1.68 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | emoTion | +1.55 | 58 | 35 |
| #5 | prey | +1.36 | 54 | 74 |





