








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1701 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1659 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1773 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,971 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuki <3 | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Kara | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Chaj. | 63% | 51 |
| #4 | p4905 | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Fynises | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Alex | 45% | 38 |
| #15 | PlayerUnmet | 44% | 36 |
| #16 | Popstar69 | 44% | 16 |
| #17 | wimble | 43% | 42 |
| #18 | Charle | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 27 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | cheaster | 25 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | wimble | 25 | 0.0296 |
| #4 | Wood Meister | 24 | 0.0183 |
| #5 | Fynises | 12 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 363 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | wimble | 352 | 0.42 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | 271 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | p4905 | 144 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | cheaster | 134 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +6.44 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Ikea, the Wonderful Everyday | +4.64 | 73 | 82 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +3.90 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | wimble | +2.60 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Yuki <3 | +2.10 | 54 | 68 |





