








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1686 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1335 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1009 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,720 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sproket_ | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Ghost | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | scoopster | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | zyRo | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Excel | 49% | 71 |
| #7 | Honest | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | Nope The Lemon | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | Dysfunksionl | 43% | 42 |
| #10 | Gamma | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Dysfunksionl | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Ghost | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Honest | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 368 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | scoopster | 159 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dysfunksionl | 142 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sproket_ | 128 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 82 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.04 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Ghost | +1.70 | 77 | 37 |
| #3 | Sproket_ | +1.39 | 51 | 51 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | +0.40 | 80 | 79 |
| #5 | Honest | -0.08 | 63 | 63 |





