








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Esplay | 40 matches | 1,975 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3690 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5033 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4054 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3881 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,071,799 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandy | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | kkl | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | Jaffe | 61% | 75 |
| #4 | banandan | 61% | 62 |
| #5 | stoffz | 59% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Klypa | 50% | 52 |
| #17 | Spøkelse | 49% | 136 |
| #18 | Keevy | 47% | 38 |
| #19 | Scout^ | 47% | 32 |
| #20 | fl4mE | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spøkelse | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | eLoN mOiSt | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | knx[9] | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | kkl | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | stoffz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spøkelse | 694 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | zb0t | 550 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | kkl | 318 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | stoffz | 249 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | eLoN mOiSt | 237 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | +7.16 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | stoffz | +5.02 | 92 | 71 |
| #3 | andyski-> | +2.49 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Spøkelse | +0.73 | 57 | 74 |
| #5 | kkl | +0.42 | 54 | 64 |





