








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 828 matches | ||
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Esplay | 124 matches | 1,935 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11633 | 22% |
| Smokes | 13716 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 14721 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 11875 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,499,353 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoffz | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | banandan | 58% | 85 |
| #3 | Plainy | 55% | 114 |
| #4 | jrK=D! | 55% | 95 |
| #5 | zb0t | 55% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | enholst | 46% | 242 |
| #17 | Massless | 46% | 172 |
| #18 | oddavie | 46% | 179 |
| #19 | Bɨ𝒻𝒻𝔢ɳ | 45% | 149 |
| #20 | Lacylagersjef | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jrK=D! | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | SanderS | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Massless | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | enholst | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | eviss | 7 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanderS | 931 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | Bɨ𝒻𝒻𝔢ɳ | 492 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | eviss | 472 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | enholst | 446 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | odin_9 | 333 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoffz | +5.17 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | BanKowski | +3.05 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | SanderS | +1.55 | 84 | 78 |
| #4 | XeqtR | +1.17 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | knx[9] | +0.30 | 62 | 72 |





