








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2340 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3735 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1931 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,393 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEERCAN | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | Mouse6162142 | 47% | 79 |
| #3 | CumOnTits | 45% | 139 |
| #4 | femboy | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | ENTRY FRAGGER | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mutahar (ex-bisexual) | 35% | 55 |
| #13 | Bidoof | 32% | 19 |
| #14 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 31% | 80 |
| #15 | pearit | 27% | 22 |
| #16 | dong | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CumOnTits | 27 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Mouse6162142 | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | femboy | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | LemonMoose | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 7 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CumOnTits | 305 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | femboy | 253 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mouse6162142 | 220 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | AJ | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 77 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +6.02 | 85 | 45 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | +3.36 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | femboy | +2.74 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | ENTRY FRAGGER | +2.04 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | misschf29 | +1.91 | 61 | 40 |





