








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 23% |
| Smokes | 500 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,515 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Rocky | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | Euka | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | Centaur0n | 30% | 40 |
| #13 | Günther | 24% | 29 |
| #14 | Asix | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M/\RCËLINHO91 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Dangstar | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Centaur0n | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Günther | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Asix | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M/\RCËLINHO91 | 297 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | 197 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Centaur0n | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dangstar | 78 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Euka | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky | +2.03 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Wunderhorn von Glanziboy | +1.46 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | saNiia | +1.36 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Bear | +1.30 | 68 | 32 |
| #5 | Euka | +1.30 | 81 | 69 |





