








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3707 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2173 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,138 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Bamboozle | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | daDOPE | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Bear | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Dangstar | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | MAXyyy-_- | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonniibee | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Losy_Golab | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DOPE | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Los_LuschoS | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | M/\RCËLINHO91 | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Losy_Golab | 196 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | sonniibee | 184 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | M/\RCËLINHO91 | 149 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | t0mN | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Centaur0n | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Bamboozle | +5.72 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | daDOPE | +2.91 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | High_Kick_Hassan | +2.75 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | DOPE | +2.69 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | MAXyyy-_- | +2.62 | 78 | 55 |





