








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 330 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6206 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6378 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5861 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5055 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,572,327 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3005 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethical bum sniffer | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | isis | 57% | 129 |
| #3 | sun | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Ray White - The Problem | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | Shretla | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | isis | 57% | 129 |
| #3 | sun | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Ray White - The Problem | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | Shretla | 55% | 58 |
| #6 | riprip | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sun | 26 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | isis | 21 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | riprip | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | ethical bum sniffer | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Shretla | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | isis | 433 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | sun | 426 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | riprip | 257 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | ethical bum sniffer | 161 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shretla | 158 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sun | +5.45 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | isis | +3.95 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | riprip | +1.76 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | socks | +0.62 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | ethical bum sniffer | -0.28 | 51 | 70 |





