








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 715 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 831 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6611 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5212 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2075 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,737,478 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethical bum sniffer | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | L3monlime | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | trash cunt | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | sun | 11 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | socks | 11 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danger | 706 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 595 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | L3monlime | 558 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | | 486 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | trash cunt | 477 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | +5.74 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | sun | +5.29 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | isis | +3.78 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | | +3.52 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | trash cunt | +2.77 | 87 | 60 |





