








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1139 matches | ||
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
23551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 77,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18482 | 24% |
| Smokes | 23792 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 19559 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 15522 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $9,184,000 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Shretla | 62% | 277 |
| #5 | Fatigue ♿ | 60% | 144 |
| #6 | Trash cunt | 60% | 313 |
| #7 | Yu Mei | 57% | 228 |
| #8 | Ray White - The Problem | 55% | 334 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danger | 997 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #2 | L3monlime | 907 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #3 | Shretla | 653 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Trash cunt | 592 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Yu Mei | 503 | 0.11 | 12 min |





