








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13156 | 33% |
| Smokes | 10484 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7276 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8566 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,683,762 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray White - The Problem | 64% | 134 |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 63% | 86 |
| #3 | ☆pandi | 61% | 90 |
| #4 | rená | 60% | 96 |
| #5 | Bella | 58% | 370 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ muwukaii | 28 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | socks | 23 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | rená | 18 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Bella | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | DropJoBear | 11 | 0.0067 |





