








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2425 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2678 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2481 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2983 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,273,174 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonnysse LFT | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Baka | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | HadeeZ | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | schorle | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | gergaut | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kolumbus | 50% | 76 |
| #10 | next | 48% | 23 |
| #11 | Dake | 48% | 247 |
| #12 | TobseN | 41% | 37 |
| #13 | Li Ning | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dake | 24 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | ナッシー | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | AyKay -A- | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Kolumbus | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | schorle | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dake | 896 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | AyKay -A- | 497 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | ナッシー | 349 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | schorle | 247 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | No Money 3 Kids | 238 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schorle | +4.44 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | gergaut | +3.43 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | AyKay -A- | +3.28 | 66 | 88 |
| #4 | No Money 3 Kids | +2.28 | 79 | 78 |
| #5 | Kolumbus | +2.09 | 75 | 61 |





