








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1978 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2578 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,589 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Mo3__ | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | ナッシー | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | iKadse - chriZ-_ | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Dake | 52% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dake | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | SirRaffley | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | AyKay -A- | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Kicki | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Iljaech | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iljaech | 571 | 0.36 | 18 min |
| #2 | Dake | 444 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | ChRiSyLiE ツ | 340 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kicki | 297 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | SirRaffley | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | +3.50 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | AyKay -A- | +2.26 | 66 | 88 |
| #3 | Kolumbus | +0.90 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Mo3__ | +0.30 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | ナッシー | +0.27 | 73 | 53 |





