








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5036 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4888 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3474 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,954 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | next | 40 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Shairoe | 18 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | AyKay -A- | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | mark0h | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | SirRaffley | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | next | 756 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | Shairoe | 628 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | AyKay -A- | 570 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #4 | mark0h | 188 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dake | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |





