








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5734 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5245 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5255 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5060 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,634 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | IccE. | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | gergaut | 63% | 64 |
| #4 | ナッシー | 59% | 68 |
| #5 | schorle | 58% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | next | 56% | 78 |
| #7 | Shairoe | 56% | 64 |
| #8 | Dake | 54% | 167 |
| #9 | SirRaffley | 51% | 103 |
| #10 | Kolumbus | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dake | 18 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | schorle | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | SirRaffley | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ナッシー | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | next | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schorle | 535 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Dake | 503 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shairoe | 299 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | SirRaffley | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | next | 223 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shairoe | +2.47 | 83 | 80 |
| #2 | No Money 3 Kids | +2.30 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | gergaut | +2.28 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | AyKay -A- | +1.98 | 64 | 84 |
| #5 | schorle | +1.88 | 84 | 71 |





