










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 263 | 4% |
| Smokes | 2083 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2745 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1827 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,088 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HannsGandalf [FGAH] | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | ✘Dr.Lord Eichelfee☣ | 45% | 95 |
| #3 | Wade | 44% | 160 |
| #4 | Locke | 44% | 64 |
| #5 | Der Kanzler | 42% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Schaf | 38% | 26 |
| #9 | [ƒĢĄĦ] Luck_Without_Skill | 38% | 78 |
| #10 | Schreíner | 38% | 34 |
| #11 | Levi | 38% | 71 |
| #12 | ᴍɪɴᴄʜᴇɴ ♡ | 37% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wade | +5.19 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | Der Kanzler | +4.97 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Schaf | +2.28 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | ✘Dr.Lord Eichelfee☣ | +2.19 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | Locke | +2.15 | 82 | 44 |





