








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3071 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1858 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4371 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4926 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,886,297 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1745 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Levi | 47% | 32 |
| #12 | ᴍɪɴᴄʜᴇɴ ♡ | 45% | 92 |
| #13 | Biene ♡ | 44% | 160 |
| #14 | Locke | 42% | 95 |
| #15 | [ƒĢĄĦ] Luck_Without_Skill | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortus | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Der Kanzler | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Biene ♡ | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Locke | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | turkish obsession | 6 | 0.0068 |





