








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 345 matches | ||
| Wingman | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8762 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8083 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2613 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4819 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,960,267 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 47 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Banause ♥ | 32 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Biene ♡ | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Locke | 14 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Wade | 11 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banause ♥ | 916 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | Levi | 546 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| #3 | DieLegende ✔ | 253 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Wade | 212 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✘Dr.Lord Eichelfee☣ | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |





