








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1133 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1480 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,723 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortus | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | Schaf | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Wade | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Der Kanzler | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Biene ♡ | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biene ♡ | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mortus | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Locke | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Levi | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | ᴍɪɴᴄʜᴇɴ ♡ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wade | +5.25 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | Der Kanzler | +5.17 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | ✘Dr.Lord Eichelfee☣ | +2.74 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Mortus | +2.49 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Locke | +2.17 | 82 | 41 |





