








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1364 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1656 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1324 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,833 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OK | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | xImLeon | 69% | 36 |
| #3 | ☣ mere ☣ | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | Namio | 60% | 81 |
| #5 | MrBitsch | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Captain Magma | 55% | 73 |
| #7 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 54% | 71 |
| #8 | Waltrude | 49% | 94 |
| #9 | Danny | 49% | 37 |
| #10 | h0nk ~.~ | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namio | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | xImLeon | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | OK | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Waltrude | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namio | 261 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Waltrude | 252 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | ☣ mere ☣ | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Captain Magma | 130 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Looten und Leveln | +2.68 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | xImLeon | +1.58 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | +1.45 | 60 | 77 |
| #4 | OK | +0.63 | 53 | 82 |
| #5 | Namio | -0.23 | 54 | 71 |





