








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4364 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6546 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6415 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6075 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,011 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der dreckige Dan | 63% | 81 |
| #2 | ✪ NagNagOFC | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | xImLeon | 54% | 169 |
| #4 | Looten und Leveln | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | ☣ mere ☣ | 53% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xImLeon | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Namio | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Looten und Leveln | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Captain Magma | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Der dreckige Dan | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ mere ☣ | 548 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Namio | 468 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | xImLeon | 452 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Waltrude | 318 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | BETONMICHA | 230 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xImLeon | +2.49 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Looten und Leveln | +2.27 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | Der dreckige Dan | +1.79 | 86 | 35 |
| #4 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | +1.59 | 66 | 76 |
| #5 | NinjaPiLoT <3 | +1.17 | 73 | 64 |





