








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3474 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4173 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4991 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4953 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,966 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 48% | 140 |
| #11 | Namio | 47% | 257 |
| #12 | ☣ mere ☣ | 47% | 47 |
| #13 | MrBitsch | 46% | 171 |
| #14 | h0nk ~.~ | 44% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namio | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Waltrude | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | h0nk ~.~ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ☣ mere ☣ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namio | 805 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 384 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Waltrude | 280 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | ☣ mere ☣ | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | Looten und Leveln | 211 | 0.14 | 5 min |





