








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3175 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3872 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2760 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,061,391 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 934 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯EkO | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Kevin | 55% | 142 |
| #3 | Fake_DMG | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | Terrible | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | ✪VanDuuren | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Terrible | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | ✪VanDuuren | 49% | 65 |
| #6 | AgFO1 | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | Marland | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | Pingwin Kurwa | 44% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin Kurwa | 19 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | AgFO1 | 14 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Fake_DMG | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Kevin | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ✯EkO | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 580 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | AgFO1 | 238 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪VanDuuren | 226 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✯EkO | 164 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marland | +3.57 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | Kevin | +1.77 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Fearghal O'Farrell | +1.59 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Terrible | +0.68 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | ✪VanDuuren | -0.29 | 54 | 73 |





