








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1793 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,796 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terrible | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Fake_DMG | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 55% | 142 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | AgFO1 | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terrible | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Fake_DMG | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 55% | 142 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | AgFO1 | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin Kurwa | 18 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | AgFO1 | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Fake_DMG | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 248 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | AgFO1 | 210 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pingwin Kurwa | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fake_DMG | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Terrible | 100 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | +2.00 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | +1.30 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Terrible | +0.41 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | +0.13 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | AgFO1 | -0.81 | 61 | 66 |





