








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 22% |
| Smokes | 619 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1136 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,970 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgFO1 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Kevin | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | Terrible | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Pingwin Kurwa | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgFO1 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Kevin | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | Terrible | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Pingwin Kurwa | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin Kurwa | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | AgFO1 | 5 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Kevin | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 336 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 188 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Terrible | 161 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | AgFO1 | 77 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pingwin Kurwa | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | +2.47 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | +1.89 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | Terrible | +0.90 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | +0.25 | 58 | 36 |
| #5 | AgFO1 | -0.23 | 71 | 65 |





