








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 45% |
| Smokes | 485 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 249 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,741 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terrible | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Fake_DMG | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Kevin | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terrible | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Fake_DMG | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Kevin | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Pingwin Kurwa | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin Kurwa | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Kevin | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Fake_DMG | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 244 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Fearghal O'Farrell | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pingwin Kurwa | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fake_DMG | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Terrible | 15 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fearghal O'Farrell | +1.77 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | Kevin | +1.74 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Pingwin Kurwa | +0.27 | 64 | 37 |
| #4 | AgFO1 | -0.90 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | Terrible | -1.43 | 64 | 77 |





