








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1091 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,559 | |
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 340 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14577 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12221 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 14410 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8949 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,858,034 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAESTRO | 54% | 106 |
| #2 | HUGABEER | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | Haggisx | 51% | 129 |
| #4 | Sotrox "Sotte" Taggen | 51% | 221 |
| #5 | WRM | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TATAKAE | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Marland | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | WRM | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Chris | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Bitches in the Waldorf | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WRM | 750 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Marland | 636 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Chris | 485 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sotrox "Sotte" Taggen | 397 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | MAESTRO | 289 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marland | +2.98 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | WRM | +2.22 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | MAESTRO | +0.73 | 52 | 89 |
| #4 | Bitches in the Waldorf | +0.65 | 38 | 51 |
| #5 | TheTigsy | +0.19 | 75 | 48 |





