








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2421 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3056 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2571 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2769 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,651 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 68% | 47 |
| #2 | 4dapse | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | averagesexygamer | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Mik125 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Feralfa | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | averagesexygamer | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Mik125 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Feralfa | 52% | 42 |
| #6 | Egbert-Jan | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Pluneto | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mik125 | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 4dapse | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Pluneto | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | averagesexygamer | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pluneto | 205 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Feralfa | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | 4dapse | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mik125 | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4dapse | +4.22 | 86 | 42 |
| #2 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +3.22 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | Pluneto | +1.17 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | web 4 | +0.65 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Egbert-Jan | +0.43 | 81 | 49 |





