








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5163 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3902 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3066 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3350 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,954,335 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linquist | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | Sunny Dogg | 57% | 138 |
| #3 | S64 | 47% | 239 |
| #4 | bossman | 47% | 124 |
| #5 | Laff | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | S64 | 47% | 239 |
| #4 | bossman | 47% | 124 |
| #5 | Laff | 46% | 125 |
| #6 | eXce!!eNt | 45% | 249 |
| #7 | snoop | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laff | 22 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | S64 | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | bossman | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | eXce!!eNt | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Sunny Dogg | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXce!!eNt | 628 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | S64 | 506 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | bossman | 429 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sunny Dogg | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Laff | 178 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linquist | +1.72 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | snoop | +1.29 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | S64 | +1.19 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | Sunny Dogg | +1.05 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Bum | +0.62 | 77 | 62 |





