








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5848 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6745 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3853 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2860 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,316,907 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 54% | 284 |
| #2 | Dank Jesus | 53% | 168 |
| #3 | Sunny Dogg | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | StealthPotato | 52% | 115 |
| #5 | S64 | 50% | 530 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | StealthPotato | 52% | 115 |
| #5 | S64 | 50% | 530 |
| #6 | Laff | 47% | 167 |
| #7 | bossman | 46% | 164 |
| #8 | Bum | 45% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laff | 29 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | S64 | 22 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | bossman | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Bum | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | snoop | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S64 | 1070 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | Bum | 656 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | bossman | 545 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | snoop | 465 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Laff | 235 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +2.35 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | S64 | +1.32 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Dank Jesus | +0.17 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | eXce!!eNt | +0.17 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | Bum | +0.12 | 75 | 60 |





