








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4837 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4950 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4410 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,709,418 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schooled | 65% | 141 |
| #2 | KEN1 | 64% | 72 |
| #3 | hux | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | iigLu | 59% | 111 |
| #5 | lanimal | 59% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HEMANNN | 55% | 309 |
| #7 | SILLGAHBAH | 55% | 40 |
| #8 | Key_On | 54% | 216 |
| #9 | Envy | 51% | 292 |
| #10 | bees | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Envy | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Key_On | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | HEMANNN | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | KEN1 | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | lanimal | 7 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 1535 | 0.24 | 39 min |
| #2 | Envy | 1058 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #3 | lanimal | 944 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #4 | Key_On | 568 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | schooled | 567 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schooled | +2.91 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | HEMANNN | +2.22 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | KEN1 | +1.89 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | SILLGAHBAH | +1.81 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | hux | +1.74 | 82 | 64 |





