








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4624 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4136 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3757 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3044 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,438 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | schooled | 61% | 120 |
| #3 | lanimal | 57% | 118 |
| #4 | HEMANNN | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | KEN1 | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HEMANNN | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | KEN1 | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | Key_On | 53% | 177 |
| #7 | n3b[s] | 51% | 292 |
| #8 | bees | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3b[s] | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Key_On | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | KEN1 | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | lanimal | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | HEMANNN | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 978 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | n3b[s] | 705 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | lanimal | 671 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #4 | Key_On | 474 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | schooled | 455 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN1 | +2.51 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | schooled | +2.37 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | HEMANNN | +2.35 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | lanimal | +0.98 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | John | +0.51 | 58 | 42 |





