








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2824 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2060 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1676 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,579 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marv | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | n3b[s] | 65% | 141 |
| #3 | HEMANNN | 64% | 162 |
| #4 | lanimal | 61% | 113 |
| #5 | Envy | 61% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Key_On | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Envy | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | lanimal | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | KEN1 | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 839 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | lanimal | 582 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | Key_On | 505 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Envy | 482 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | n3b[s] | 409 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schooled | +3.31 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | KEN1 | +2.31 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | HEMANNN | +2.18 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | lanimal | +0.82 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | +0.20 | 72 | 51 |





